Saturday, March 28, 2009

My Sentiments Exactly

I am fairly certain I’ll need to buy this card in bulk:




And this:



(Inside reads: Because that’s what hoers do.)

On a sweeter note: I need to find this card for Whitney!!



Meredith, I’m sending this next card to you…virtually. ;D



(Inside reads: Sole food.)

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Last Chance Café

How many chances are too many? I make a pact with myself; this is the last chance! Do I obey this rule? Very rarely. I have very little willpower. This time is the last time; I mean it!!

Until next time.

Dammit.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Chillin' Like a Villian

I desperately need these cards:











And my personal favorite:



All cards can be purchased online at: http://www.whimsypress.com

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Do Not Use It As Other Things

My cousin posted this as a note on facebook. Too funny not to share...


For Christmas, my daughter bought a couple pairs of painted chopsticks from the Japanese dollar store at the mall for my wife. When Molly finally opened them to use the chopsticks she was greeted with these stern, if somewhat awkward, warnings on the back of the package...


WARNING

-Wash it with warm water after use and wipe with soft cloth.

-Do not leave it in the water for long time.

-Do not was it with a scrubbing brush, any washing powder. There are possibilities of getting wounds and run out of the color.

-Please keep it off from the fire because of making it melted and the color changed. Do not use it in any hot water and the fire directly.

-Please not use it with the dish washer, the tableware dryer, and the microwave oven. (Why don't I have a "tableware dryer" in my kitchen).

-Please change it to new one as soon as possible if it get cracked or damaged.

-There are possibilities of smell of the resin, however, it is a inspecting standard commodity of Japanese food sanitation law and food additive.

-Use it with care when Children use. It is a thin ahead.

-Do not use it as other things.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

My Love Remaineth the Sameth

I love “Chuck”. Sarah, Bridgette and I have been making our way through the second season this week, and I’ve come to a serious conclusion: I am horrifically in love with Chuck! Not the actor, mind you (‘cause that would be weird ;D) but the goofy, nerdy, handsome, good hearted and smart character. Now, I’ve always like my men imaginary (much less messy), but even more importantly I like them smart. Really smart. And funny. The combination of the two is almost irresistible to me. I know a lot of girls say, “I really like the nerdy guys”. I wouldn’t say that at all; you’re just opening yourself up for some serious trouble, really. But throw a literary reference or a witticism my way, and I’m hooked! Line and sinker.

Of course it helps if your tall, dark and handsome… like this guy! ;D





Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Dear Homeless Romantic,

"Well, put on your patchy-stained jacket and gather ‘round the fire in the trashcan, Homeless Romantic., ‘cause the Rub [Doctor] is here to help!"

I’ve taken to napping in the student lounge on my lunch break. I’m pretty sure this means that I haven’t been sleeping enough lately. (What four hours of sleep a night isn't enough?) I didn’t really see this as a problem per se, until this afternoon’s conversation.

Student: You’ve been here all day!
Leah: Only since 9:00.
Student: Yeah, I saw you sleeping upstairs earlier.

For the record, I am not a homeless person. Sometimes I just fall asleep while reading. That’s not a crime, right? It looks like my one o’clock nap times will soon be coming to an end. It’s probably for the best; I always wake up so grumpy.

Fortress of Solitude

I am at work, you know working, when the custodian comes in to take out my trash. This is our conversation:

S: There she is, all by herself in the corner.
L: Yep.

What I wanted to say, however, was this:

“Do you imagine I am unaware of how alone I am?? I am inordinately aware of my solitude seventy percent of each day. The other thirty percent I spend sleeping, and am therefore blissfully dreaming about NOT being alone. Can you see my left hand? No ring! I know I am alone and thank you for cheering me up on this dreary afternoon.”


There is a good chance I read too much into that. I may have serious problems.

Monday, March 2, 2009

Sarah Gets Two Gold Stars. Maybe Three.

On Saturday morning, Sarah and I curled up on the sofa to relax and watch a movie. Zodiac was our film of choice, and we enjoyed it immensely. (If you haven’t seen the movie, this probably won’t make much sense, but I don’t care.) At one point, however, I got really hung up on the handwriting analysis and ambidextrousness of the supposed murderer. I retrieved a pencil and pad of paper, and started writing with my less dominant hand (the left). I labored over my work and got as far as, “Hello my name” before I determined that I could never be a letter writing serial killer. Sarah, on the other hand, decided she would only need practice in order to write legibly and easily with her left hand. She grabbed the pad of paper and started writing. Fairly quickly (and quite well), I might add. This is what she wrote.


This is the Zodiac speaking. Sometimes when I’m alone in the car I practice my accents. Mostly English, but sometimes I practice my dirty French accent as well.


Just another reason why I adore my sister! ;D