Saturday, October 31, 2009

Devil On The Left, Angel On The Right

Simply Awesome.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

You're Still A Super Hot Female...You Got A Million Dollar Contract

Do you ever get a random song stuck in your head? One you haven't heard in a while? A couple weeks ago I awoke to, "Don't Give Up". Just those lyrics, over and over again: don't give up! I can't even remember the last time I heard that song. Today it's a line from "What You Waiting For?" by Gwen Stefani. Which line? I'm glad you asked, here it is: take a chance you stupid ho.

Is my subconscious trying to tell me something?

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Sassy Like Joan

I finally saw a few episodes of Mad Men last night (the first three to be precise). Pretty good! Handsome lead (I’d even say dreamy if he weren’t cheating on his wife), fantastic costumes and decent direction. Overall two thumbs way up! ;) The men, though!! Awful with a capital “D” for “Aren’t these guys a bunch of DICKS?” Some of the circumstances and lines had me gritting my teeth so hard I was afraid I’d shatter one of my molars!

Luckily I made it through with my teeth intact. My favorite scene? I’m really glad you asked… Towards the end of episode three Peggy complains to Joan about how predatory the men at the office are, and Joan responds by sarcastically asking, “Because men usually chase you down the street, right? You’re new; enjoy it while it lasts, honey.” Priceless! Someday (sooner rather than later) I will say this to some mousy girl. You can’t throw a stone nowadays without hitting one after all – you know the ones I mean: all the guys think are inexplicably hot, but anyone who has eyes knows they're mousy. Enjoy it while it lasts, honey. I can already tell your aging badly.

While searching the interweb for the quote above (yeah, I didn’t find it – mine is not entirely accurate) I found this one:

Roger: “Mr. Hooker has rearranged the secretaries in the pool alphabetically.”
Joan: “By cup size?”
Roger: “Well, I know where you'd be sitting.”

I was tickled pink by this!! I really, really like Joan. She’s hot (you know, actually hot), sassy, says things like they are and bosses people around. I wanna be just like her when I grow up…apart from the long term affair with her boss, secretary’s wages and the awfulness of what happens to her in season three. But, you know what I mean, right?

Also, amen to those in charge of such things for making a genuinely beautiful woman the hot girl on the show! It’s so lovely to see a woman with her dimensions on television who's talked about favorably (like, “Hey that actress is so hot!”). This just confirms what I’ve been saying and witnessing for years: Guys like hot women. Real ones.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Leah Pearce Gives Her Opinion Very Decidedly For So Young A Person

You MUST look at this!! Minutes of sheer joy!! ;)

Friday, October 16, 2009

Not Making Senses..Too Much Choices..Why Can't I Get Anything Fresh?

Were you confused by my last post? If you were, here's the deal: I took excerpts from Whitney's missionary letters and created one "complete" letter. Sorry for any confusion. :)

I was not smoking crack.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

She Who Said It Best (est) *

Welcome to the brief summary of my life.

I’m getting a little darker, my skin that is. But don’t worry about my face, I do use spf moisturizer.

We climbed up Devil's Saddle this morning to watch the sun rise. Google that. Yummy!

And on the way out of town, we made some friends with a man who owns a fish market and he had us try raw mussels with fresh lemon juice. You just slurp the raw meat right out of the shell. After the 4th I was beginning to not think it was so bad. :)

Boys still drool.

Did I ever tell you about the time I served in Cagliari and it was the bestest? Here I am to remind you: Cagliari is better than puppies and cupcakes with sprinkles on a spring morning at the beach.

Sunday evenings are always more fun than a barrel full of rainbow colored monkeys!

Thanksgiving. It's coming. Sister Hawkey and I are supposed to create a program for a ward activity. Look at this blank expression on my face foretelling how I think I might contribute to the production of this program. All I want to do is wear feathers in my hairs. Can someone help a sister missionary out here? Year 2010 I am wearing feathers in my hairs at TG.

Life is a garden. Dig it.

Speaking of a gay tour of Tuscany…

Hopes you are fan.stinking.tastic even more than you were 9 months ago. oh, hearts, I must leave you now.

uncontrollable laughters and improper english grammar,


*Please note this is clearly a mish mash of a variety of different letters.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Too Cool For School

I feel as if I've been having the same conversation over and over and over again the last few weeks. Different girls, different situations but the same grievances: guys who act so cool and indifferent that the women they're trying to impress get pissed off and give up.

My tip to you, boys? Bimbos may adore that "too cool for school" act. They enjoy the chase and the trouble. Smart women, on the other hand, do not. We expect a certain amount of interest to be paid. A little work to be done. After all, we're worth it! ;) We don't chase men; they chase us, and while you might be playing this game to invoke a reaction, we may have already been forming a contingency plan of our own. One that most certainly does not involve you.

Tread carefully! And good luck (you're definitely going to need it). :)

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Rush Week…The Calculations

Number of elbows I took to the face: 1
Number of times I called a student “the son of Satan”: roughly 19
Number of times a student serenaded me: 1 (1 too many times)
Number of times a student flirted with me to get what he wanted: 3
Number of times it worked: 0
Number of times I asked a student if they had their student id: millions
Number of times they actually had it: about 10
Number of times I complained about working until 8:00 pm: 20 or 30
Number of awkward conversations with young men: at least 15
Number of times I felt OLD: this is an ongoing problem when all the students look 12
Number of times I saw a student wipe their nose with their hand and hand me something: ugh…lots…
Number of times a coworker and I joked about gargling Purell: 6
Number of times security was called: 2

Glad that's over with. :)