Monday, December 21, 2009

I don't give a damn about my bad reputation

Apparently I have a bad reputation. Some of my friends have recently been "warned" about Sarah and I because apparently we are a couple of "bad" "party" girls with serious "modesty issues". This amuses me greatly (and also hurts my feelings, but that's another issue); I've always been a bookworm who preferred staying at home to going out, but about a year ago decided that I was so sick of being treated like a second class citizen by all the LDS guys I know and I wanted to have a little fun for once. After ten years in the singles wards I've realized something: people are weak. Women play mindless games to attract attention from boy/men who see themselves as gods. When I was twelve years old I decided I would never dumb myself down for a guy, and I haven't. Of course that is ultimately why I am unmarried, but I would rather be single for eternity than stuck playing the fool. I'm proud of the woman I have become. I'm beautiful, intelligent, kind, witty and stacked and if this intimidates you that's your problem. As my guy friend says, "People are always afraid of girls with a rack". Crude, but true.

So, go ahead and tell my friends I'm gonna lure them down the wrong path, tell people I'm a slut who picks up guys at clubs. Say any damn thing you want, spread all the rumors you like, but we all know where that hostility originated. I'm sure all the lemmings will believe anything you say, they can't think for themselves after all. And if you're reading this and thinking, "Well, you shouldn't project that image if you don't want people to view you that way", get your head out of your ass.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Dear Santa,

My coworker forwarded this link to me:

This one is my favorite!

Dear Santa:

How does my lord? I am fine. I believe 'tis possible you did not receive my wish list last year, or that it fell into unsavory hands and was rudely tampered with before reaching you, as all you brought me was a chastity belt and some granny underpants. I pray that this one flies to you untainted since this year hath really sucked. I wish for the following:

He's Just Not That Into You (book and DVD)

— "All About Me" Lock and Key Diary

National Geographic Flower and Leaf Pressing Kit

— Coastal Deluxe Automatic Inflatable Life Vest

Fingers crossed,

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

To All Those Who Look But Don't Respond:

I know you're out there, faithfully reading my blog every time I update. I ask you, would it kill you to comment? It appears as if Allen is the only person reading my posts. Thank you Allen.

With much pleading and little pride,


Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The Good Ole Days or When Beauty Wasn't Subjective

Gorgeous, sexy women.

Sophia Loren

Rita Hayworth

Marilyn Monroe

Leslie Caron

It's really a shame that "starving crack whore" is the new beautiful.

I've Got You Under My Skin

I had no idea Louis had such sweet dance moves!

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Treat Me Right

Grace Potter and the Nocturnals "Treat Me Right"

Gov't Mule and Grace Potter "Take Me to the River"

Grace Potter and the Nocturnals "Apologies"

Grace Potter and the Nocturnals "If I Was from Paris"


This conversation just occurred with a VERY dumb student.

Me: What's your last name?
DS: Ummmmmm....Smith.*
Me: Okay. And your first name?
DS: Ummmmmmm....Tom.

*Not his real name.

On a side note, I am so thankful I'm going to Disneyland tomorrow!! For a few short days I can forget everything and everyone. Thanks Walt!

Monday, December 7, 2009

I always thought Santa was a little creepy...

You MUST check out this link!

This one scared the beejesus out of me

My own personal sketchy Santa

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

13 Years?