My bad, Sarah. My bad.

Me: Oh right...you went out with him!
SP: What?! I didn't go out with him!! What are you talking about?? Don't you think we would have been talking about that for forever? Why would I have gone out with him? What are you talking about? Who are you confusing him with? No, seriously?! I would have stabbed him if I went out with him...he would have been talking, and then a fork would have been in his jugular! Then I would have been like, "Please stop talking!" Why would you ever have thought I went out with him??

(pauses while I laugh, silently)

Really? What are you talking about???

(another pause)

How could you have thought I went out with him?? What are you talking about???

(pause)

What the hell???!!!