Coco-nuts

Emails exchanged...

Me: So I just threw up in my mouth...
SP: Yeah, I dry-heaved for about five minutes when I read that!


Conversation after searching "coconut M&M's" on google...

(For some bizarre reason, google search includes a picture of a naked man with a belly hanging to the ground. His eyes are blacked out.)

Me: (clicks on images) I wanna see a cross-section.
CW: Don't look down and to the right!!
Me: Too late!
CW: My eyes! (laughs) At least they covered his eyes so we wouldn't recognize him. (a few moments of silence) His belly was almost touching the ground. At least I think it was a man.
Me: I wasn't sure either, but I didn't want to look that closely!!
CW: I'm going to start exercising right now.

Food poisoning, yummy!

CW: I don't know about you, but I don't think I'd wanna eat week old salmon.
Me: Yeah.
CW: Especially if he keeps it in a cooler. (laughs) Isn't that what he said?
Me: He said "icebox" but I think he meant the fridge.
CW: Oh, (laughs). I was gonna say, don't think I'll be going to a barbecue at his house. At least not on a Friday.

Well shit...

Saw this guy last night:

A

Two words: Awe-some. That is all. Also, I'm going to see Mavis Staples next month and I am ridiculously excited! Oh Mavis, I adore you!

Let's get specific

Me: So, what are your thoughts on the other night?
CS: (sighs) Can I be completely honest?
Me: Oh God...What??
CS: I was so bored!! I mean the whole time.
Me: (laughs) That's not what I meant...
Me: Seriously, I think I just had a heart attack.

Sweet, sweet Bridgette

BB: I feel like I need to make a special effort with church. Because of Sean and everything.
Me: So...your "special effort" for Sean is to attend all three hours of church?

(Hilarity ensues)

Outside I'm masquerading, inside my hope is fading

I've decided I'm definitely going to see him on Sunday. As long as there are tickets available. :)

Maybe you had to be there...

CW: How many packages of Nerds do we have left?
Me: Don't judge me!!
CW: Well that answers my question.


RS: I like your hair...and your glasses.
Me: Thank you.
RS: You look really young; I'm guessing, like, 23.
Me: I'm not 23.
RS: How old are you?
Me: 30.
RS: (looks flabbergasted) No way!! You look really young...you're like a unicorn that never ages.

*Please note "RS" stands for random student.

CW: And this is why we keep the killing scissors in the drawer!! If they were handy I'd have them sticking out of my neck right now.

Taken out of context

Me: It's not stealing, per se. You're more of a scavenger.
CW: It's a gray area. It's like witnessing a crime; you see an accident and you don't stop. (pauses for ten seconds) And then you go back later and steal their wallet. (another pause) It's a gray area.


SP: Smell it.
Me: Okay.
SP: Gross, right? Now imagine it has radioactive properties.