Guys Like Me. No Really They Do!!

I pride myself on my intelligence, my smart (ass) mouth, my kindness, my fashion sense, my artistic sensibilities, my wit, my giving nature, my understanding, my patience and (dare I say it?) my fantastic set of breasts. I’m attached to my boobs (literally ;D); I’ve had them a long time. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’m never going to be able to wear certain tops or that I might have to have things tailored to compensate for my large breasts and tiny waist. I like them. They have helped shape the person I’ve become. Seriously! When I was eleven (and twelve and thirteen and fourteen etc.) I would get embarrassed when adult men would stare at my breasts or make inappropriate remarks. My mom (and others) would let me know that someday I’d appreciate them. I’d roll my eyes (of course) and not believe her, but she was right! So, my question is: now that I appreciate when the hell am I gonna find a man who appreciates them too?!?!? A man that I respect who ALSO likes me as a person. Is that too much to ask?! Really?!? Non-LDS guys seem to like them (like me for that matter). Non-member men like my brain, my personality, my heart and my boobs. In the past month I’ve been called a sexpot, stunning, lovely, pretty and the list goes on. If I’m more than good enough for most men out there, why aren’t I good enough for you “decent” “wholesome” “priesthood holders”, hmmmm?! Why not?!?

While I’m on this subject, I might as well point out some things I like about men. Confidence. CONFIDENCE. And intelligence, kindness, a respectful attitude toward women, a sense of humor and a good heart. I’d also like it to be noted that I show remarkable restraint regarding smart ass remarks and criticism. I don’t say half of the bitchy things I feel because I try to be a nice person. That stops here! I will no longer hold back! What I will do, though, is point out all of YOUR (the collective “your”) teensy tinsy very, very, very small inadaquacies (and I’m sure it really is itsy bitsy).

p.s. I’ve seen you looking at my breasts. While I’m wearing a crew neck top. But you’re still not interested?!

p.p.s. I notice all those other looks too.

p.p.p.s. You’re still not interested?! Bullshit.